Nekyia's Threshold

subject:
Clown Penis
post date:
2007-06-13 20:03:06
views: 43 comments: 1 ratings: 0

If you hear the sound of flopping while you read this blog entitled "Clown Penis", try to remember its just his shoes...I've stayed in an assortment of hotels on the Las Vegas strip. I've picked up the advertisements on the street that feature "Asian School Girls wearing Nun Clothes", "Black Beauties - Spurs Allowed!", "Sassy Cheerleaders Wanting An F" - and all of them had stars at groin and nipple. I guess that's how a woman can tell if she should pursue a career in any of the above categories. Just look for the glinting points.I was more entranced with the amateur efforts of some male graffitti vandal. I say it was a male, because of the delusional proportions given to the surprise "package". I first glimpsed the clown's penis behind the head of an elderly woman. A small step to the left and Slappy - with his big red...nose, and his hand held...horn - was revealed in full clown regalia. The freehand addition of an orange sized testicle x2, and a 12 inch dick straining upwards to his red painted grin made the happy, family-friendly, Circus Circus elevator poster (HUGE BUFFET) delightfully twisted. I tried to turn a laugh into a cough. I had no idea how far up the elevator shaft the elderly woman and I would have to go together, and I couldn't help but assume she wouldn't find Slappy's enhancements as amusing as I did. Or maybe I just liked her being unaware of the visual I had of a big red grin with a straining penis rising up from above her careful perm. I rushed out of the elevator when it arrived at my floor and practically danced to the phone. I dialed the front desk."Front Desk, may I help you?"(stifled giggles) "Yes, The clown on the poster in your elevator has an erect penis.""Excuse me?"(forcing a tone of solemnity) The advertisement in your elevator has been modified. A penis and testicles have been added to the clown. I thought you might want to remove it.""Oh...well, Thank you."And then for the next two days I rode up and down the Circus Circus elevator (north tower, middle one, as I recall) - with Slappy and his eager surprise package intact. I danced to the phone again."Front Desk, may I help you?"(a breath and a smirk of glee) "Yes, a few days ago I called about the penis on the clown in your elevator.""Pardon me?"(Tone of the eager helper) "There is a very large penis and testicles drawn on the clown in the middle elevator of the north tower. Its sort of contrary to your family-friendly advertising. I thought you might want to remove it.""Oh, thank you! I'll call maintenance right away!"I considered what kind of comps I could get for the scarring I must obviously have endured from spending days in the company of a clown penis, but I'd already been upgraded to a suite with an orgy sized jacuzzi tub. I let the conversation end with an unanswerable comment."It was pretty funny..."True story. I suppose now that Las Vegas has gone back to being Sin City, Slappy the clown has been replaced by a topless female version - Floppy. Oh well, its a man's world.