Nekyia's Threshold

subject:
What a Wonderful World
post date:
2007-08-12 18:34:38
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Artist: Louis Armstrong Title: What A Wonderful WorldI see trees of green........ red roses tooI see them bloom..... for me and youAnd I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.I see skies of blue.....and clouds of whiteThe bright blessed day....the dark sacred nightAnd I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.The colors of the rainbow.....so pretty ..in the skyAre also on the faces.....of people ..going byI see friends shaking hands.....sayin'.. how do you doThey're really sayin'......I love you.I hear babies cry...... I watch them growThey'll learn much more.....than I'll never knowAnd I think to myself .....what a wonderful worldEleven years and six months ago the husband who hadn't touched me intimately in three years, and who made a duck bill quacking motion with his hand when I tried to fill him in on what I was doing at work and what the children and I did at night while he was working - asked me to get an abortion. He didn't want his life disrupted. He had his work, his friends, his drugs and his bar and he had me to organize his life and nurture the children and he was willing to ask me to kill my baby in order to ensure it continued.No way.There was no mystery between us as to the fact that he wasn't the father. You can't impregnate a woman you haven't had sex with in any form for three years. He was happy in his life. I was desperately trying to save myself and my baby. I made my choice - I chose life in all the ways presented. Life for my baby, life for my happiness with another man, life rich in laughter and sex and a real partnership.I wrote a poem for my baby while she was still safe in her warm waterworld. The day I was told that amniocentesis showed a daughter would be coming to my arms, I sat down and looked inside myself and wrote about myself and my hopes for her:A quaint and whimsical village encompasses my heart,The crack of lightening intertwines with the singing of a lark,The foundations of its buildings are made frommemories,And cobbled streets of precious gems are built with goals achieved.Beyond the village structures lies a forest named Unknown,And all those things that Could Be make this place their home,Deep inside its verdant depths lies a touch of blue within the green,It's a lake called Hope & Joy and its waters are my dreams.The Destiny Star came blazing across my heart's night sky,My mind's eye stared in wonder at the beacon up so high,In the midst of all this glory came a little girl to dwell,My heart asked, 'Daughter,what is your name?'the answer - 'Savannah Noelle'.She moves in grace on cobbled streets with a smile diamond bright,Curiosity shines from in her soul as avid as a sprite's,Her every thought and action are my foundations to employ,While future dreams spill over the banks of a deeper Hope & Joy.That was then. I made the right choice. Freed from the expectations I had of what I needed in a mate, my ex-husband and I continued a warm and nurturing relationship. He doted on my daughter. He lived his life and I lived mine. We wove our life strands together harmoniously for the children. My true mate and I married and I get banged about every night. And listened to. And kept in a safe haven of love and laughter.The world moves on. Tonight we celebrated my daughter's eleventh birthday. I stared at the spinning ball of mirrors above the skating rink floor and heard the numbers of my winning raffle ticket called again. It was 30 years or more before this night. The same place. The same round and round and round swooshing of wheels on hardwood. I was just my daughter's age and I'd won a roller skate case. The only thing changed was the line of cellular phones I was in charge of while the party guests followed the same circular path I had, decades before. I'd only had access to a rotary dial pay phone that had hung upon the wall.I take that back, something else had changed too.Ghandi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." I've lived my life trying to boil things down to their true essence. To find God as I live, in my thoughts and my actions. To see people as they are so that none of the fear of the unknown would make me turn away from those of a different race, creed, color, or socio-economic status. I've exposed my children to an attitude that welcomes those of good intent, no matter their differences. I got to meet my daughter's new "boyfriend" tonight. Oh yes, if you read my blog "When Worlds Collide" you will meet 'Sparkling Boy'. He was there tonight, but the new boy that has captured my daughter's fancy is 'B.E.T. Boy'. She came home gushing a few weeks ago about her new "boyfriend", about how he'd brought her a cupcake and carried her books. How they were both very social and outgoing and liked watching the same videos. The very last thing she told me was that he was African American. She told me with no more emphasis than what she'd placed on the fact that they were both social. It was just another little piece of the puzzle that made him uniquely himself. I took everything in with a smile and an "ahhhh". I'd heard what I needed to hear - he treated her well, he liked her, he made her laugh.All these month long "boyfriend/girlfriend" matches kids make are practice for the real task of recognizing what it takes to make you feel like you have truly found your "mate" when maturity is gained. I'm so happy my daughter is free to bond with whomever she choses. Its the change I want to see in the world. Even if the lifespan of a childhood "romance" is about four weeks.Its a wonderful world. Keep shining.